Jilian

Inspired by Jilian, a designer from Project Runway Season 4. She like some pretty girl coming from Egyptian frescoes or Greek palaces. Her eyes' big and wide. I like her curly dark hair. Of course, i'm very impressed by another designer Christian. He's quite talented.

[Photos] Grandpa and Grandchrildren

Feb.2009 Seagull C35F/DNP 100

Vivian and I watched through the window when we ate at Mcdonald's. The grandfather was helping his 2 grandchildren eating. Anyway, the 2 children were happy. Watching them, I felt happy too.

[Drawing] It Is Written

Dedicated to Ding's picture 129 Pairs Of Eyes.

Ding·Yi 129 Pairs Of Eyes

Ding saw a university students enrollment statistics on his teacher's website. It is published that the amount of students enrolled in Tsinghua University and Beijing University(two of China's best universities) is 130 times than that in Henan Province. The chances of farmers' children studying in college is only 1/30 of children in cities. The money that government invest in education layed out in cities is 3 times than the rural area. Perhaps we could find the reason and solution together rather than just blame and criticize the system with nothing to do.

Ding wrote a poem below the pic. He wrote,
leave, my brother.
I am always watching you.
I am not crying.
How can I?
Haven't we made a deal?
Haven't we made a deal?
Even before we born
Haven't our lives been fated?
......

Everything is written. And we'll always been watching you.

[Drawing] Flying Horse Above Sky

I drew this for no particular reason. Some scenes just flashed into my mind. And I don't know why I came to color the horse pink and make it fly in sky...

[Drawing] Such Is Life

I drew this pic at the end of last year and colored it a couple of days ago. The red coffee mug was broken. Too many courses in this semester make me work my head off. Thus I have little time reading, watching film, drawing and going out of school for photoing.

Such is life. Always full of reluctance.

[Photos] First Love With Film

I bought this camera made in 1988 last year and finaly developed the first roll of film last night. During that time I met different problems that stopped me shooting. Like my camera broke down once and I had to wait for a long time to get someone fix it. But ultimately I made it.

24 photos was successfully scanned into the computer. I'm still happy even if almost half of them are either overexposed or underexposed...I select 6 photos that look good.

This is the view I was looking out of the window of my room when I lived in Zhengzhou. I thought it would be overexposed but turned out well.

The road down my window. Thousands of students lived there temporarily to attend art exams or study many subjects.

My friend Vivian Ko. She almost become my model.

My Mom.

The view ouside my room.

The basketball court under the balcony of my dorm.

I plan to learn how to develop the film on my own. I know it was hard...but really interesting.

[Drawing] Hope Of Pessimists

We cannot live without hope even though we're pessimists.

Finally I Made It

Some firewoks even bursted on my window.

Finally I can balance my camera by putting a little chair on the windowsill and laying the camera on it. Looks great.

[Photo] Sparkles Above The City

During the Chinese New Year people kept setting fireworks. I live in 10th floor in an apartment so I can aways watch them flying up into the sky and blooming over the city then disappearing. It's too bad that I left my tripod at school. So even watching the exciting fireworks just right in front of my window I can't take a good picture for failing to make the camera stable. Then I tried to put the camera on the windowsill and shoot. Still, not good enough. What a pity.

I thought the night when I shot those fireworks was a little funny. That night there were not so many fireworks constantly. People just set them once in a while. I can't keep waiting the lighting fireworks with the open window and freezing wind blowing my face. So I did something else and once I heard 'bang' I rushed to the windowsill right away and shot. But still, I failed over and over. Then I was sort of pissed...

After taking some photos I stopped trying. Finally I just watched sparkles in my seat. That feels good as well. This is enjoy, not attempting to gain something from the view.

[Photo] Grab Any Chance To College

I've been iving in Zhengzhou for almost 11 days. More than 15 people live in this apartment besides me. Most of them are students attending art exams and 2 of them, including me are learning English.

Some students tell me that they have to stay here for more days because they still have 3 or 4 tests to attend. Which means they have to live here far away from their home with their friends all by themselves. The more tests they attend, the more chances they'll seize. All they want is grabbing any oppotunity to go to college.

Everyday they get up at 6 Am and spend 6 or more hours taking that kind of drawing exams that not only acquire inspiration and perspiration but a lot of strenth. At the same time, their lives are quite simple and hard. The foods they eat are quite cheap. Most of the time they just take some Chinese cakes (a kind of large, thick and flat bread). These foods are pretty cheap, cost like 1 or 2 Yuan. And I think it's why such foods are so popular among students except for the good taste.

All this university (or college) entrance examination thing shocked me and make me very uncomfortable again. It reminds me of the desperate high school life. The whole sick machine will just ruin us, all the people.

The kid, Fang, in red in the photos above is my landlord's son. The boy in blue near him is his cousin. Their computer's in my room cause I live in Fang's room. These kids do all what they can do to play net game. And I feel bad about it...

[Drawing] First Day

I trying to make a good picture to memorise a certain moment of my parents. But conversely this picture didn't satisfy me.

The vacation is short. I spend 2/3 of the holidays in studying English in Zhengzhou. Sometimes I doubt if I make a right dicision. But I know if I don't I would regret someday in the future. I can't just imagine my future and kept making plans but do nothing. I've no idea what things will be like in the days to come and I even can't make sure if I devote myself to the life I pursuied. What on earth do I care or look forward? I thought I was brave and steady but now I can't stop questioning myself if I really do what I planned. Maybe there's no plan at all. I changed them all the time. And I just imagine myself as a fighter. It seems I've already been prepared to fail.

The room my parents rent isn't that cold. I still try to adapt myself to the environment. Tomorrow my classes will begin and I don't know what will happen. Wish everything will be fine and just be exactly what I think.

[Drawing] Everybody Let's Dance

It's the best time! So everybody let's dance! Enjoy your golden age!

Maybe it's my criticism make me suffers. Some friends including my parents asked me why I just can't be optimistic. I really have no idea how to figure it out or response. I think criticism is a way to be independent. It's one of the many ways lead to freedom. I need focus. In fact plenty things I actually don't care even though some acts make me like a fighter that I'm not. I have a lot of things to do. I like simple life. So I just do what I can do and never lose hope.

[Drawing] Away From Ground

I can leave the ground by uplifting my legs when running almost every the other day. Although time past fast I can do a lot of times...It's really not all about working out.

I've read Chris Keane's Hot Property for several days but interrupted by final exam. Well, that's not the point. I've been writting my novel and I can learn plenty skills of writing screenplay just like memorize the rules. Or it's just like choosing a shortcut when doing a long-distance running even though Chris himself said the purpose of learning rules is to break them. He's the kind of man who still keep trying to find and sum up the rules then teach them to others just for pleasing the hollywood film producer and the market. All about profit...

As a matter of fact Chris is a hollywood man so what he teach is all about hollywood stuff. Movie is totally a product of hollywood in Chris' eyes. I won't suspect his love for movie and screenwriting but he just adapt himself to the system without any hesitation. I can define him as a well game player but a really fabulous screenwriter is a game creator who open a new world for screenwriting even totally new ways of expression of film.

[Drawing] Snowflake

I haven't seen snow for a long time, I don't know what to write for a long time. These snowflakes are all Chinese words. I know I only can wait for the inspiration when I can't write a word. These words just like snowflakes, beautiful and rare. So...I just need a little more patient.

I've been writing a novel based on my parents' love story for almost 2 months. I was constantly stuck in my confusion about what to write and why I write these stuff.

Maybe clearing my mind is the kernel for me. I just can't stop doubting and feel tired.